“Where have you been my whole life?” “Becoming the person, you needed me to be. “- Amanda Torroni
Patrick and I have officially been dating a little over six months. I have been in a lot of relationships, four serious relationships since I was sixteen. All of those were before I even knew Patrick existed. I never would have dreamed there was someone out there like him. But the universe is funny that way. I had almost given up on dating, love, relationships. And then the universe was like, here’s your dream man, you’re welcome. I am a complicated person. I can be very pessimistic/realistic, but I am also the first to describe something as magical, cry at a Disney movie, and be the first to make a fairy tale reference. So I’m not going to say it was love at first sight. But these past six months, have honestly been the best six months of my life. And literally, if he broke my heart right this second- I wouldn’t regret any of this. He has made me a better person, and he has restored my belief in love. I also have a strong opinion on timing. I think that all my past four relationships taught me something about myself. But I also think most them failed because of timing. Austin and I were too young (timing), Rayce moved away to college, I left James for the Disney College Program, the Disney College program ended and Tall James and I were going to live 24 hours apart. Now I also could say distance could be to blame, but all those relationships started with us living in the same state. Destiny is a word I rarely use. It’s a strong word. Merriam-Webster defines it as: the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future. I think that could go hand in hand with the universe dropped the perfect man in my lap at the perfect time. Timing. I met Patrick after being single for over a year. I had been out of the Disney bubble for over a year, and I had finally seen the light of my schooling coming to an end. I met him at what you could say, was the perfect timing. But is it perfect that we live sixteen hours apart? Most of the world would say no. And they have. I hear it constantly, “Long distance never works.” Here is my answer, except when it does. Now I am not a relationship expert. I wouldn’t even say my relationship is perfect. There are flaws. We are in different time zones, we are both workaholics, we are both social butterflies, and we are both independent. I am also not the best at showing my emotions, or communicating. But something long distance has taught me is that you can improve. Patrick and I talk on the phone almost every day, sometimes twice. I wouldn’t say we text 24/7, but we text a lot. We snapchat occasionally, and we do use Facebook Messenger. But it isn’t just that we talk a lot, that isn’t what communication means. Effective communication is defined as verbal speech or other methods of relaying information that gets a point across. We communicate we get our point across when something is bothering we tell each other. He is the first person I talk to in the morning, and usually the last before I go to bed. Yes, our relationship is a little unconventional, I go 40 days without seeing him very often. But we make up for it when we are together. If you’re going through a long-distance relationship, I recommend talking a lot. It helps. I crave his voice. That may sound cheesy, or even creepy. But I look forward to hearing from him. My second piece of advice is being independent. You’re not going to be happy if you believe he is the only reason you’re happy in the first place. You need to have your own things. I’m not saying you shouldn’t share everything, but you can go enjoy your day and then tell him about it at the end. We both have very different jobs and hobbies. I love that. I have been in relationships before where my world became him. Everything I did was with him, it wasn’t healthy, and it wasn’t fun. Especially in a long distance, I would constantly be bored, or sad if all I did was sit around and sulk because he wasn’t here. I take myself out to the movies, to art museums, and even outside in nature. I hang out with friends once a week, and I spend quality time with my family. But at the end of the day, I call Patrick. And yes it may be the highlight of my day, but it’s not the only thing I have going for me.
Another worry I get a lot from people is the panic of, “what if when you move to Buffalo, you two realize you’re not actually compatible?” I think this ties into the concern from earlier, “Long distance never works.” My response is going to stay consistent, “except when it does”. I will tell you the truth, of course, I am scared to be moving to Buffalo with a guy I’ve never spent more than five days with at a time. But a bigger part of me has no worry at all. We’ve traveled together, he’s seen me sick, he’s seen me hangry, he’s seen me on my period, he’s seen me without makeup, he’s seen me cry, he’s seen me at my worst, and my best. I think we are, no, I know we are ready for this next step. And honestly, that’s all anyone can hope for. There isn’t anyone in the world that can tell me my future or anyone else’s. I believe in magic and love, but I don’t believe in fortune tellers. (insert laugh track) I also am going to be mushy real fast, life is fucking short. I don’t want to go another six months without him. I want to wake up to him, not just a text, or a snap, I want to wake up and kiss him. I want to spend lazy Sunday’s together, I want to go watch his brother play basketball, I want to vacation with his family, birdwatch with his best friends. I want to spend my life with my best friend. So yes, I’ve known him seven months. Yes, we’ve been long distance. But, love is love. Nothing is guaranteed, not tomorrow, not forever, but I’ll take what I can get.